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Deep Thoughts

Technology is simply a means of manipulating the world so you don't have to experience it.

I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is improving.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out?

A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.

There are always death and taxes; however death doesn't get worse every year.

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path.

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

Make failure your teacher, not your undertaker.

I don't get even, I get odder.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

I am in shape (Round is a shape).

A day without sunshine is like night.

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have inlaws.

I am not a perfectionist, though my parents were.

It doesn't take a genius to know the difference between chicken shit and chicken salad.

The bowels are the highways to good health.

If I only knew NOW, what I knew THEN.

The bowels are the highways to good health.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes, that way when you do criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?

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